Songs for a Future Generation
by Angst Is My Middle Name
Summary: The relationship between Jim Kirk and Dr. Leonard McCoy told in a series of oneshots inspired by songs. Rated for later chapters which feature sex, language, and possibly violence. Vaguely AU-ish. Slash of the McKirk variety.
1. You Belong With Me

_**I'm back! That was quick... Well, what we have here is my first attempt at delving into the wonderful world of McKirk slash... I've read a lot, but I haven't written any yet.. **_

_**Disclaimer: Star Trek has never, is not, nor likely will ever be mine... sadly. I would love to own nuBones, however.**_

_**A/N: This is series of oneshots inspired by several songs. I am in the process of writing it, so I can't be sure of when exactly chapters will be up, but please keep an eye out for them. Also, this will become rather explicit slash. Please don't flame me and tell me I'm gross or going to Hell or anything like that... I am already aware of those trait in myself and am quite proud of them :)**_

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**Chapter One – You Belong With Me**

_If you could see that I'm the one who understands you_

_Been here all along so why can't you see?_

_You belong with me_

_You belong with me_

**(Bones' PoV)**

Dr. Leonard McCoy felt like a silly little schoolgirl. Now, he was certainly not a schoolgirl… he was a grown man, dammit! He wasn't even sure why he felt this way. It was just Jim, for Chrissakes. Jim Kirk. Unfortunately, Jim often got a lot of people to feel like silly schoolgirls in his presence. McCoy wasn't entirely sure when his immunity to the James T. Kirk charm wore off. All he knew now were the butterflies he felt when he looked at Jim and a vague possessiveness when he saw Jim with someone else. Currently, he was having a fling with a lavender-skinned female named Trixii Figaro. She was pretty, but she was also very clingy. She hated being away from Jim. She hated Jim's sense of humor, too. Truthfully, Trixii seemed to hate_ a lot_ of things about Jim. McCoy couldn't understand why Jim went out with her.

That was why he just sat there, listening to some Lynard Skynard, while Jim and Trixii argued on the phone. Apparently, Jim had said something she took offense to. Finally, Jim hung up.

"Bones, I don't know what I'm gonna do," Jim said, "She just argues with me all the time."

"Why don't you just break up with her?"

Jim frowned. The doctor hadn't seen a true out of the younger man in a while.

"I dunno… she's so… I'd kill her if I did that. I don't wanna hurt her."

Bones snorted and replied, "Well, then I'm not sure you're gonna do, either."

Jim pouted this time before saying, "I like this song. Trixii would hate it… but I like it. What is it?"

"Really? It's pretty old… 's called 'Free Bird'. Hey, let's go to the bar. It's Tuesday, I got nothin' to do, and I'm bored."

The doctor's heart fluttered as Jim grinned, his face lighting up. They put their civvies on (T-shirts, jeans, and sneakers) and decided to walk to the bar; it wasn't that far away. There were halfway there when Jim's cell phone rang. It was Trixii. She wanted to know where Jim was. Stupidly, Jim told her what bar they were going to. Bones heard her (annoying voice) say that she would join them and to stay where they were. She hung up.

"Well, we have to wait for her. Come on… let's just sit here."

The doctor and the wannabe captain plopped down on the nearest park bench.

"Why _are_ you still with Trixii, Jim? She ain't your type."

"I dunno. I guess at first it was nice to have someone around who cared that much. It's kind of overbearing now. Honestly, I've never broken up with someone before. It's always just been… well… one night stands."

"Well, I say you should get rid of her. She's annoying."

Jim laughed just as Trixii walked up on the opposite corner. He then leaned in and whispered, "Maybe I can tell her we're dating," before rising to meet the girl. He didn't seem to realize that Bones didn't laugh. The doctor looked at Trixii, all decked out in high heels and a short skirt. He merely remained on the bench, looking at his sneakers and pretending to be very interested in the hem of his T-shirt until Jim came back and suggested they get going. As Trixii draped herself all over Jim, Bones couldn't help but think, _You belong with me, Jim. I know everything about you, from your favorite songs to your biggest dreams. I've already seen you at your best and worst. I'm _always_ there for you. How can you _not_ see it?_

"Bones! Stop daydreaming and get up here! I don't wanna leave you behind!"

The doctor mentally shook himself and jogged to catch up. Jim grinned.

_Yeah… you belong with me._

_Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?_

_Been here all along, so why can't you see?_

 _You belong with me.  _

_Standing by and waiting at your back door _

_All this time, how could you not know?_

_Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me  _

_You belong with me_

 _Have you ever thought just maybe _

_You belong with me?_

_You belong with me._

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_**Chapter 2 should be up soon! That one's already done, and I'll even give you a little preview. It's titled 'I Do Not Hook Up'. Have with that one, y'all, and remember, reviews are like sunshine on a cloudy day!**_


	2. I Do Not Hook Up

_**Yay! New chapter!**_

_**Disclaimer & A/N: see first chapter.. oh, and potty mouths start in here :)**_

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**Chapter Two – I Do Not Hook Up**

_Oh no I do not hook up, up_

_I go slow _

_So if you want me, I don't come cheap _

_Keep your hand in my hand _

_And your heart on your sleeve _

_Oh no I do not hook up, up _

_I fall deep_

 _'Cause the more that you try_

 _The harder I'll fight _

_To say ... Goodnight_

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**(Bones' PoV)**

Jim was in a bit of a slump, which was unusual for him. He did finally break up with Trixii. After that, he got into a relationship (for three weeks) with a young woman named Liannon Stanford. She was very beautiful, there was no denying that fact, but she really rubbed Bones the wrong way. He couldn't say _why_ he didn't like her; he just didn't. Then he and Jim overheard a conversation she was having with her girlfriends. She stated, in no uncertain terms, that she was only dating Jim for the sex. She wasn't looking for a relationship with him, just his penis. While Bones' heart broke for Jim (he'd seemed really in love), he couldn't stop the leap of his heart at those words. Jim, of course, simply burst right in and told her off, yelling as loud as he could at her. Needless to say, _that_ ended that 'relationship' rather quickly.

The younger man was now halfway through a bottle of vodka and had a few of Jack and tequila in him on top of it; he was just barely making sense. Bones nursed a bourbon beside him on the floor of their dorm. Who was he to let Jim drink alone? He even let Jim ramble about betrayal and broken hearts, but when the wannabe captain said that he ought to simply quit Starfleet, Bones had had enough.

"Jim, put that bottle down," he said, taking the bottle from his limp fingers, "and stop talkin' that bullshit about quittin' the Fleet. Ya have so much to offer it. You're gonna be a great captain."

The younger man looked to him, his eyes red and bloodshot, and quietly thanked him. Bones could see the tears welling in Jim's eyes, so he reached over and took his hand, trying to offer comfort to the man he secretly loved. Jim moved faster than Bones ever imagined he could, straddling the doctor's hips, hands on his shoulders. Bones' entire circulatory system sped up. His heart was beating out of his chest. His blood pounded through his veins and arteries, pulsed in his ears. He couldn't take a breath deep enough to satisfy his lungs. Jim's hands worked their way up to Bones' face. Bloodshot, brilliant blue eyes were locked onto wide, surprised brown ones, and Bones simply could not help himself. The doctor leaned forward and brushed his lips against Jim's; it wasn't even really a kiss. Jim then crushed their lips together in a bruising kiss. It was sloppy and nowhere near perfect, just a passionate clash of teeth, tongues, and lips. Jim rolled his hips into Bones', causing the doctor to moan softly into his mouth. Bones could clearly taste the alcohol Jim had consumed that evening. It was then that he realized he didn't want _this_, and he (reluctantly) pushed Jim away; Jim pouted.

"Jim, we can't do this," he whispered, "I… you won't remember this tomorrow, and I… I don't just wanna be another fuck for you. I don't… I don't 'hook up' or do the whole one night stand thing. Come on, let's just get you to bed."

Jim nodded briefly, brushed his lips against Bones', and promptly fell off the older man's lap. Bones helped him to his feet and half-carried him to his bed. He pulled off Jim's shirt, shoes, socks, and pants, eliciting a small giggle from Jim. He then drew the covers around the younger man. When he made to go to his own bed, Jim slurred, "C'you stay here, Bones? A' least 'til I fall 'sleep… please?"

Bones didn't have to think twice. He immediately sat down on the bed beside Jim, taking Jim's hand in his own, his thumb stroking it gently. Jim smiled at the doctor before dropping off to sleep. The older man remained there for some time after the younger fell asleep until he could no longer ignore the call of his own bed. He carefully released Jim's hand and softly kissed him on the lips, not knowing if or when he'd get another chance.

_You've got to stop drinking so much, Jim. You're gonna miss out on so much if you don't._

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_Oh sweetheart put the bottle down _

_'Cause you don't wanna miss out…_

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_**Oh my goodness! What's gonna happen next? Preview for chapter 3: 'Forever'. Reviews make me happier than a chocolate fountain!**_


	3. Forever

_**Yay!! New chapter! And this one earns its M rating, I must say.. Please enjoy!**_

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**Chapter Three – Forever**

_It's you and me moving_

_At the speed of light into eternity yer,_

_Tonight is the night to join me in the middle of ecstasy._

_Feel the melody in the rhythm of the music around you, around you_

_I'm gonna take you there, I'm gonna take you there_

_So don't be scared_

_I'm right here baby_

_We can go anywhere, go anywhere_

_But first it's your chance,_

_Take my hand come with me

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_

**(Jim's PoV)**

Jim was very excited for his return to Earth. He looked forward to going to the clubs and bars with Bones. His stomach did a little flip when he thought about the doctor. Against his better judgment, he'd fallen for Bones. He fell for him their first year at the Academy when they were put in a dorm room together because they had merely shown up at the Academy. For the first few days, they attended their classes awkwardly dressed in their civvies, sitting in the back and keeping their heads down. Bones was there for him from day one and every day after, there for him when he got into fights and when he simply got shitfaced. Jim should've seen this coming.

"Keptin, ve are thirty minutes from ze planet Earth," Chekov said.

Jim just grinned and thanked him. He then put out an announcement to the crew and called Bones, telling him he ought to come up to the bridge to see them dock at Earth; he seemed to enjoy the view. He received a gruff response of, "I'll see if I can, Jim. It's still pretty crazy down here," which Jim knew translated to, "I'll be there soon." Of course, he was right. Bones arrived ten minutes later, immediately positioning himself at Jim's side. Earth appeared in their sights, and Jim heard Bones gasp softly beside him. His heart fluttered a little bit, especially when the doctor leaned down and whispered so quietly only Jim could hear it, "It's so beautiful. It never gets old, does it?"

The younger man didn't trust himself to answer.

JBJBJBJB

"Jim, really? We've only been home for three hours!" Bones complained.

"Please just come with me," Jim said, making puppy-dog eyes at the doctor, "It'll be a great way to unwind and relax. Plus you can keep me out of trouble. Please?"

"I dunno… it's not really my kind of place to go."

"Please, Bones?"

Jim knew that Bones wouldn't be able to resist the puppy face for long. Sure enough, the doctor sighed and agreed to come to the club. It was loud when they got there, the music thumping and vibrating to their very cores. Bones complained for a while, but Jim didn't mind because for Bones to audibly complain, he had to lean in close. After a couple of drinks, Jim decided it was time to act. Bones was much too tempting in his fitted T-shirt and jeans. The younger man grabbed Bones by the wrist and led him onto the dance floor, despite his protests.

"Jim, I don't wanna dance! I can't dance!"

"Yes you can! It's not that hard! Just try to move with the beat of the music!"

Bones still wasn't very good at dancing, and he seemed slightly uncomfortable. Jim reached out and put his hands on Bones' hips, trying to get them on the same rhythm. Bones' eyes flickered downward; Jim swore he was blushing. However, the doctor's hands managed to wind their way around Jim's neck without him looking up. Jim pulled him a little closer, testing the waters. Bones leaned into the touch, but he still didn't look at Jim. They were moving in perfect time now, their bodies flush against each other, their foreheads pressed together. Jim tired to get Bones' attention, to get him to look up. Finally, he said, "Please look at me, Leonard."

The doctor's brown eyes snapped up, and the world fell away. It was as if he and Bones were the only two people in the world, just them on that dance floor. It felt damn near perfect. They leaned in at the same time, brushing their lips together, as if testing it out. Their eyes met again, and Bones roughly pulled Jim in for another kiss. It was a kiss of pure passion, need, and love. It occurred to Jim that Bones had wanted this for just as long as he had. Bones' tongue was ravishing his mouth, exploring every centimeter, dragging delightfully over the roof of his mouth; he gave just as good as he got. Moans they couldn't hear vibrated through their mouths as they somehow managed to keep the rhythm of the song. Jim let his hands wander, running them up under Bones' shirt and gripping his firm ass. Bones kept his hands wrapped around Jim's neck. The doctor tasted wonderful: the drinks they'd had, a hint of coffee, and something that could only be just Bones. Jim ground his hips into Bones', eliciting a sensuous moan from the older man; both their cocks were hard. Eventually, they broke apart for air.

"Bones, I love you," Jim said as quietly as he could and still be heard, "I love you."

"I love you, too. I love you so much, Jim."

Jim initiated the next kiss, much softer and slower than the first. After that, they left and went back to their dorm room. Bones shoved Jim up against the door, slamming their lips together in a bruising kiss. This one was desperate and needy. Teeth nipped at swollen lips. Tongues wrestled for dominance. Hands roamed under shirts and over bare, quivering flesh. The shirts soon came off, also providing a quick bout of breathing room before plunging in once more. Shoes and socks were deftly removed, and pants soon followed those. The feeling of their skin touching was electric. Jim trailed away from Bones' lips, kissing his way all over the doctor's neck and collarbone. Delicious moans and whimpers fell from his mouth, which Jim quickly returned to. The young (acting) captain moved one of his hands to Bones' hip, slowly sliding his fingers under the waistband of his boxers. Bones broke the kiss, averted his eyes, and backed away slightly.

"What's wrong?" Jim asked, then repeated from earlier, "Please look at me, Leonard."

Bones raised his head more slowly this time. He murmured, "It's nothing you… It's just… I've never been with a man before. I never even kissed one."

"It's okay. We don't have to do anything, Bones. We can just go to bed if you want. It's no problem."

"No, it's not that. I want to do _something_ with you. I have for years now, but I don't…"

"Come here," Jim said with a smile, "I know something we can do."

He took Bones' hand and him to his bed, telling him to lay down on his back; he did so obediently. Jim stood before him at the foot of the bed, then removed his own boxers, freeing his hard cock. The doctor's eyes immediately shot to it. The younger man then crawled onto the bed, hovering over the elder before kissing him sensuously. They could at least hear their own moans now. Bones' hips bucked up into Jim's, giving the latter cause to moan and break the kiss. Then, he began working his way down the doctor's neck to his chest, pausing briefly to lavish attention on one of his nipples, next kissing the older man's stomach. He stopped at the waistband of the boxers. Jim sat up, and he pulled them off slowly as Bones' breath hitched. He took a moment to gaze at the doctor's body, drinking it all in: the lean torso and limbs, the smattering of dark hair on the lightly muscled chest, the very hard and erect cock. Every muscle in the doctor's body was tight. Jim smiled at him.

"Relax, Bones," he said, kissing him, "It's not gonna hurt."

After another quick kiss, he returned to his former position between the older man's legs. Bones' eyes never left him. Jim began lavishing attention on the doctor's stomach, causing him to moan softly. Bones obviously did not realize that Jim was moving ever lower. He let out a noise somewhere between a moan and a shout when the captain wrapped his mouth around him, fingers tangling in his blonde hair. Jim spent little time there, before backing off; that was just a taste of things to come. He then laid himself directly on top of Bones, making sure their cocks were touching. The doctor whimpered quietly, and the captain kissed him. The younger man rolled his hips. They both moaned. Bones' hips jerked upwards into Jim's, and Jim's bucked back. The kiss became sloppy and fierce as they rutted against each other, the friction bringing them ever closer to climax. Jim pulled his lips away from Bones' and covered his neck with bites and licks. The doctor arched his head back, unwittingly giving Jim better access to ravish his throat. He dug his nails into Jim's back, his hips moving of their own accord. One of his hands worked its way down the captain's bicep and forearm to grip one of his hands and intertwine their fingers. Jim returned his lips to the doctor's just as he felt the heat pooling in his abdomen and groin. Bones came first, digging his nails in and scraping them over Jim's shoulder blade, gasping quietly. It pushed Jim over the edge with a moan and a whimper, softly biting Bones' bottom lip, his hips rolling jerkily throughout his orgasm. The blonde man gently rolled off the brunette and laid beside him. They wrapped their arms around each other, their foreheads pressed together.

"I love you, Jim," Bones whispered.

"And I love you," he replied, "I think I'm gonna take you dancing more often."

Bones chuckled and kissed Jim again, languidly but passionately, before they both fell asleep. He seemed surprised when he woke up and realized Jim was still there.

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_It's like I've waited my whole life for this one night_

_It's gonna be me you and the dance floor_

_'cause we've only got one night_

_Double your pleasure_

_Double your fun and dance_

_Forever (ever, ever)_

_Forever (ever, ever)_

_Forever (ever, ever)_

_Forever girl forever_

_Forever (ever, ever)_

_Forever (ever, ever)_

_Forever (ever, ever)_

_Forever on the dance floor

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_**Chapter 4 preview: 'Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy'.**_

_**I hate to do this to you fine readers, but, because my school works on a trimester system, I am on my last legs of classes and have finals coming up. Therefore, I am not entirely sure of when I'll be able to update next... But please keep an eye out! (Reviews are better than leftover Halloween candy.)**_


	4. Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy

_**I'm sooo sorry it me so log to get this chapter up! The trimester system is really nuts.. Anyhoo, here it is at last!**_

_**Warnings: This chapter contains some foul language and somewhat graphic descriptions of sexual situations between two men.**_

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**Chapter Four – Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy**

_Cause I saddle up my horse_

_and I ride into the city_

_I make a lot of noise_

_Cause the girls_

_They are so pretty_

_Riding up and down Broadway_

_on my old stud Leroy_

_And the girls say_

_Save a horse, ride a cowboy._

_Everybody says_

_Save a horse, Ride a cowboy_

**(Jim's PoV)**

Shore leave was always a godsend, and two weeks on Earth a year and a half into their five year mission felt like Heaven to Jim and Bones. The captain and CMO had managed to do what everyone had thought was impossible: Jim stayed in a monogamous relationship for more than three weeks. Shore leave was going to be spent like an anniversary. Jim had booked them a room at a hotel in Texas, near a ranch where he'd also gotten them time doing some horseback riding. The captain was actually an accomplished rider, and he wanted Bones to experience the same joy and peace he felt while riding. Bones seemed pleased when Jim revealed the surprise.

"So you like it, then?" the captain asked, drawing his lover into a hug.

"Of course. I'd love to ride… a _horse_, Jim," he added when the younger man grinned evilly.

Once they got on their horses, Jim found out why Bones was so excited; he was an accomplished rider himself. He was almost as good as Jim. However, Jim wasn't really trying. He was too busy staring at Bones. The doctor looked damn fine in those jeans, that work shirt, and that cowboy hat. Unfortunately, Bones noticed this and taunted Jim the whole time. The fact that they went to a bar afterwards didn't help, either. It wouldn't have been so bad if the doctor wasn't such a cocktease. Needless to say, the older man was promptly ravaged back in the hotel room.

"What's the matter, Jim? I get ya all hot 'n bothered?" Bones asked breathlessly.

Jim just crushed his lips to Bones' in a bruising kiss, knocking the doctor's hat off kilter. He was surprised when the doctor turned the tables and maneuvered himself around to pin Jim against the door, pressing his body flush against the captain's, grinding their hips together hard. Jim moaned softly into his mouth. Clothes quickly pooled at their feet, and Bones made to take off his hat.

"No, leave the hat on," Jim murmured, nipping at the doctor's lip.

Bones grinned as Jim led him to a chair he'd backed up against the bed and pushed him into it. Jim produced some lube, which he used to slick up his lover's cock and his own entrance, kissing the older man passionately as he did so. Finally, he positioned himself in his lover's lap, slowly lowering himself until the doctor was fully buried inside him. The captain whimpered from ecstasy and a little pain as a low moan escaped Bones' lips. A pair of arms wrapped around Jim's waist, nails digging into his skin. He placed his arms on the chair back and Bones' shoulders, capturing the doctor's lips with his own. A hand gripped the back of his neck gently, keeping him in place. Jim pulled back and looked at looked at Bones, running a hand down his chest.

"Are you gonna do somethin', Jim, or are ya just gonna sit there and look pretty?"

Jim grinned down at him before slowly rising and lowering himself, biting his lip the whole time. Bones groaned again, his hand slipping from Jim's waist to his hip, gripping it tight enough to bruise. Jim did it again… and again… and again. Both men were moaning loudly and wantonly, especially Jim. Bones angled his hips, jerking them upwards every so often. They were perfectly angled to hit Jim's prostate, sending a shock of pleasure up his spine every time it was hit. Jim reached down to jerk himself off, but Bones took his hand in his own. The doctor then removed his hand from Jim's hip and wrapped it around his cock, stroking it in time with their movements.

"God, Bones… _ngh_… so good," Jim moaned, "_Fuck_!"

The doctor didn't reply but instead kissed his lover hard, nipping and sucking at his lips and tongue. Jim was overwhelmed by pleasure.

"Fuck, Jim!" the doctor half-shouted, "Love you!"

Jim would've replied but his mind had just become a pile of mush created by lust and pleasure, so he could only moan and whimper. He shouted when he was brought over the edge by Bones' hand. The older man came shortly after with a quiet moan and a bite to Jim's shoulder. Jim felt perfectly sated and tired, and he just flopped over Bones in the chair. Bones held him tightly. If the doctor hadn't suggested a shower, they probably would have fallen asleep there.

"Y'know, you look hot in that hat, Bones," Jim said slyly, "Maybe you should wear it more often."

Bones just smiled and led Jim into the bathroom, hanging the hat on the doorknob as he passed by.

_Everybody says_

_Save a horse, _

_Ride a cowboy._

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_**There it is! I'm hoping I'll be able to finish posting soonly :) In the meantime, the next chapter is titled 'Unfaithful'. I think you guess what sort of turn this story is about to take..**_


	5. Unfaithful

_**And without further ado.. Here is 'Unfaithful'.**_

_**A/N: I don't have any real warnings for this chapter, but this is where the angst begins my friends. **_

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**Chapter Five – Unfaithful**

**(Jim's PoV)**

_Story of my life_

_Searching for the right_

_But it keeps avoiding me_

_Sorrow in my soul_

_Cause it seems that wrong_

_Really loves my company_

_He's more than a man_

_And this is more than love_

_The reason that the sky is blue_

_The clouds are rolling in_

_Because I'm gone again_

_And to him I just can't be true_

Jim Kirk really hadn't wanted to hurt Leonard 'Bones' McCoy. He loved Bones… _a lot_. He'd had nightmares about losing his CMO and lover on an away mission, woken up sweating and panting and crying only to be wrapped up in the older man's arms, and the doctor would tell him that everything would be okay.

Jim Kirk hadn't meant to fall in love with Spock. If it weren't for Other Spock and his damn mind meld on Delta Vega, planting images and thoughts into his head, he would never have thought of Spock in _that_ way. It started off innocently enough with his first officer. They would play chess and talk every so often. The 'every so often' turned into every month, then twice a month, then weekly. Then, their fingers accidentally brushed while putting away the chess set. The feeling was electric, _perfect_. He _knew_ he had to be with him, but he also knew that he couldn't hurt Bones. He thought that if he could have both of them, he wouldn't hurt either one.

It was extremely stupid logic. Bones, despite all outward appearances, was fragile. He'd already suffered enough at the hands of an unfaithful lover (his ex-wife Jocelyn), and Jim's betrayal wouldn't help. Jim had spent the last three years in a relationship with Bones, making love to him and professing said love for the older man. For three years, Bones was what made Jim's world go 'round. He hadn't thought it possible that there was anyone more perfect for him than his CMO. Then, his fingers touched Spock's, and electricity sparked up his arm into his brain; he _needed_ to be with Spock. He started to spend more time with the Vulcan, noticed his name creeping into his conversations more and more, started to have nightmares about Spock's death instead of Bones'.

Bones was certainly not oblivious. Jim could see it in his eyes every time he left to go see Spock. His eyes, usually a warm and soft brown, would deepen to the color of dark chocolate. He could _see_ him dying inside, one little bit at a time. When he came back to his (their) quarters, Bones was always drunk and half-asleep. It hurt Jim quite a lot. He just couldn't stop himself.

The final straw was one night two months after he started seeing Spock on the side. He stepped out of the shower and started getting ready to go see Spock. Bones was lounging on the bed, just watching Jim. At long last, he rose and wrapped his arms around his captain and lover from behind.

"Jim, why don't you stay here tonight?" he murmured into Jim's neck, "It gets boring here all on my lonesome."

"I know, but I'm sorry, Bones. You know how insistent Spock is. It's just paperwork."

"Will you be late?"

"I don't think so. I'll be back in two hours, maybe. Three tops," Jim replied with a smile, twisting around in Bones' arms to face him, "Don't worry."

"I'm gonna hold ya to that."

He then brushed his lips against Jim's, kissed his cheek, and hugged him tightly before returning to the bed. Jim knew that Bones knew he was lying, so he left as quickly as he could. As soon as he got to Spock's quarters, he punched in the override code and went in. Jim didn't see Spock's surprise when he began to cry, sliding down the door into a crumpled heap, hugging his knees to his chest. Spock knelt in front of him.

"Jim? What happened?" he asked quietly, "Who has upset you?"

"I don't wanna do this anymore, Spock," he choked out, "Bones knows what we're doing. He knows I'm being… I'm killing him. Slowly but surely, I'm killing him. I might as well just shoot him in the head and be done with it."

"Do not say such things. You are not-"

"You don't understand!" Jim shouted, visibly startling the Vulcan, "You haven't seen him, Spock! You haven't seen his eyes! Every time I tell him I'm coming to see you, every time I walk out our door, I can _see_ him dying on the inside! Eventually, he's gonna get tired of all the bullshit he's already seeing through, and he's gonna hurt the both of us. I'm killing him, Spock."

Jim burst into tears again, burying his face in his knees, knowing that he was hurting both men he loved now… and it really, _really_ hurt him, too.

_And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful_

_And it kills him inside_

_To know that I am happy with some other guy_

_I can see him dying_

_I don't wanna do this anymore_

_I don't wanna be the reason why_

_Everytime I walk out the door_

_I see him die a little more inside_

_I don't wanna hurt him anymore_

_I don't wanna take away his life_

_I don't wanna be..._

_A murderer

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_**Sorry this one took so long too.. I don't know what got into me.. Next chapter is titled 'Take A Bow'. Reviews are like joy and sunshine and puppies and kittens :)**_


	6. Take A Bow

_**A/N: Warnings for angst and bad language from angry!Bones. Plus, as I typed this, I couldn't help but get the feeling that Jim might be a little OoC... I mean, it's your decision more than mine I suppose, but I took into account angst and emotional state.. Still... anyhoo, here it is..**_

_**A/N 2: Also, I had fun with the accents of Bones and Scotty.. please let me know if they're okay..**_

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**Chapter Six – Take A Bow**

_Oh, How about a round of applause, Yeah_

_A standing ovation_

_Oh, Yeah_

_Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah_

_*_

_You look so dumb right now_

_Standing outside my house_

_Trying to apologize_

_You're so ugly when you cry_

_Please, just cut it out_

**(Bones' PoV)**

Dr. McCoy wasn't sure exactly what was making feel so damn ballsy right now. There he was, staring down Capt. James T. Kirk, preparing to do something he never wanted to do.

"Jim, I can't do this anymore," he said calmly, coldly, "If ya want Spock, fine… but ya can't have me too. Ya need to choose: me or Spock."

The young captain's eyes went wide, filled with tears.

"Please, don't make me choose. I… I love both of you, Bones."

"_No_, Jim. You don't get to call me that anymore, not if ya wanna keep two-timin' me like this. You had better choose."

"I can't. I need both of you. I love you, Bo-"

McCoy jerked his hand out of Jim's, saying, "No! Obviously you don't! If ya loved me, ya wouldn't have went after Spock!"

"I'm sorry, Bones!"

"But you're not! You're not sorry! The only thing you're sorry about is that you got caught! Did ya think I wouldn't find out? Ya think I'm stupid?!"

"No! I just-! I didn't know what to do! I'm sorry! I really am!" Jim cried, his tears falling, "Please don't do this, Bones, please!"

"If you want me, then tell Spock it's over," McCoy said, surprised at the deadly quiet of his voice, "You ain't gonna have us both, Jim."

Jim stood in the middle of McCoy's quarters, wringing his hands and chewing on his bottom lip. Finally, he whispered, "I… I need some time to think…"

McCoy closed his eyes, swallowing down the lump in his throat. Very coldly, he looked at the captain, saying, "Then you've made your choice. Get your things, and leave."

The younger man was crying silently now. He reached out for McCoy's hand, calling him 'Bones'. The doctor snapped.

"Godammit, Jim! Ya fucked up!" he shouted, his accent thickening, "It's yer own fault! Ya just couldn't keep it in yer fuckin' pants! Ya can stop cryin' too! It's nobody's fault but yer own, and ya know it! Now git yer shit and _get the fuck OUT_! 'Cause if yer here when I get back, it's gonna be _damn_ ugly."

Then he left. Some of the crew gave him strange looks and he knew they heard him screaming at Jim; he also realized he was crying. Before he knew it, he found himself in Engineering with Scotty. All he heard the Scotsman say was, "Wha's wrong, mate?" and he was done. He would've hit the floor if the Chief Engineer hadn't been there to catch him and sit him down. Somehow, he hadn't quite broken down completely, just barely staving off his sobs and nearly hyperventilating. He had the engineer's wrist in a tight grip.

"McCoy," Scotty said quietly, perceptive as ever, "ye had ta end it wi' the cap'n, didn' ye?"

The doctor nodded twice before bursting into tears and pouring his heart to the engineer. He cried that he loved Jim, had loved him since their first year at the Academy, had planned on loving him for the rest of his life. Scotty listened with a sad look on his face as McCoy told him all about how he knew something was up between Jim and Spock and that he and Jim would never last no matter how much he wanted to. He let the Scotsman wrap him in an embrace and try to tell him that everything would be okay; the pain would go away eventually. Except McCoy knew it wouldn't…

Scotty helped him back to his quarters after he was done sobbing. Jim had removed every trace of himself from the room. McCoy sobbed again quickly, able to remain standing this time. Scotty put a reassuring arm around his shoulders.

"I need a drink," McCoy choked out, "Care to join me?"

"Certainly, doctor. Gotta keep an eye on ye. Don' want ye ta hurt yourself, now."

McCoy ended the evening hammered while Scotty miraculously remained sober. The doctor vaguely recalled Scotty getting him into bed and sitting nearby in a chair. When McCoy woke the next day, it still hurt… really, _really_ bad.

_Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not_

_Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught_

_But you put on quite a show_

_Really had me going_

_But now it's time to go_

_Curtain's finally closing_

_That was quite a show_

_Very entertaining_

_But it's over now (but it's over now)_

_Go on and take a bow

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_

_**So, my friends, I have a dilemma. I have written one more chapter for this story, but I'm debating on whether or not to post it. It's based off the song Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley ft Alison Krauss. Please, when you review, let me know if you think I should. If you've never heard the song, please review anyway, but then go listen to it and message me with your answer. I'm really looking for reader feedback on this one. Thanks in advance!**_


	7. Whiskey Lullaby

_**Well, due to the strong reaction I received as to whether or not to post this.. I am posting it :) Thank you so much everyone for your input! You all know who you are!**_

_**A/N: Warnings for severely angsty themes, violence, naughty words, character death, and possibly OoC characters... oh, and one for a completely random point of view. Thanks so much staying with this!**_

_**A/N 2: Yes.. I know I didn't change the original lyrics from Whiskey Lullaby, and I know it says 'she' all the time... I thought it would be better to keep the original lyrics rather than to change them. Thank you for your time.**_

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**Chapter Seven – Whiskey Lullaby**

_She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette_

_She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget_

_We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time_

_But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind_

_Until the night_

**(Scotty's PoV)**

Lt. Cmdr. Montgomery Scott noticed a marked change in his captain and his CMO. He thought back to the night McCoy stumbled into his engine room and broke down, remembered what he had heard. This behavior was, by all accounts, normal. McCoy kicked Kirk out, sent him packing. Scotty could understand why. Kirk had hurt the good doctor in more ways than anyone could count; he deserved it. However, whenever he saw the captain off duty, he was drunk, trying to lose himself in a bottle of whiskey. He barely even talked to Spock anymore. Kirk hid it pretty well, though, save for the positively _epic_ fight he got into with McCoy in the med bay a month later. It was Scotty's (bad) luck to be there after dropping off one of his lads.

Kirk stormed in, blazing drunk, and began shouting at McCoy.

"Bones, you are such an asshole!" he hollered, slurring his words slightly, "You couldn' jus' gimme the chance I asked for?! You couldn' gimme the time to fin' an acceptable solution?! I loved you, you dumb fuck!"

"NO!" McCoy bellowed back, "No, Jim! I couldn't! If you really loved me, you sumbitch, ya wouldn't've gone after Spock! If ya really loved me, ya woulda kept it in your fuckin' pants! Obviously, _you_ don't remember all the times _you_ were betrayed by someone and got _your_ heart broken! Fuck you, Jim! We're done!"

"This is _not_ over, Bones! You-"

Scotty was surprised that McCoy took the first swing. He was even more surprised that he actually managed to hit Kirk. McCoy nailed the captain with a vicious right hook that sent him reeling. Kirk retaliated with an uppercut that clipped the doctor's jaw. The various personnel in the room were too stunned to do anything to stop them. It was only after almost five minutes, after McCoy pinned Kirk and started beating the shit out of him, raining blow after blow, that everyone stepped in. It took Scotty and two male nurses to pull McCoy off their captain. McCoy meanwhile, was screaming himself hoarse at the blonde man, nearly incoherent through his use of obscenities. Scotty took over and managed to wrangle him back to his quarters. He continued to yell angrily about Kirk, oblivious to the fact that he was crying. The engineer decided to stay with him to prevent him from doing anything stupid. Once McCoy had calmed down to silent tears, he whispered, "I still love him, Scotty. God _damn_ it, I still love him."

"We'll give 'im some time ta calm down, mate, and ye can go check up on 'im in the mornin'. It'll be alright."

Scotty told himself the same thing, praying that it would be true. Once more, he found himself staying the night, sleeping on the couch and waking before McCoy instinctively. He even got the doctor to eat. Just as they finished up, McCoy received a call from a dismayed Spock.

"Dr. McCoy, Jim will not answer his door, and he put in place a code only you can override. After last night's episode, I am worried for his safety."

McCoy and Scotty hurried to Kirk's quarters, whereupon McCoy entered his override. They were horrified at was within.

_He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger_

_And finally drank away her memory_

_Life is short but this time it was bigger_

_Than the strength he had to get up off his knees_

_We found him with his face down in the pillow_

_With a note that said "I'll love her till I die"_

_And when we buried him beneath the willow_

_The angels sang a whiskey lullaby_

Capt. James Tiberius Kirk was lying prostrate on the bed, face down in his pillow. Liquor bottles in varying states of emptiness littered the floor beside his bed. In his hand was clutched a small slip of paper. Scotty managed to pry it free, and it simply stated, "I love you, Bones. I'm so sorry… so sorry." McCoy seemed shocked into paralysis. He just stared at Kirk. Spock was blatantly upset, and that scared Scotty more than McCoy's blankness.

They made it back to Earth three days later. The funeral was at Riverside National Cemetery, where Kirk's father was 'buried'. (Really, it was simply a headstone; there had been nothing of George Kirk left to inter.) Kirk was buried not far away, under a willow overlooking the countryside. It began to rain during the ceremony, a melancholy sort of drizzle. Scotty though it appropriate for the occasion.

_The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself_

_For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath_

_She finally drank her pain away a little at a time _

_But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind_

_Until the night_

McCoy seemed fine on the surface, as shaken up as everyone else, but something wasn't exactly right with him. Rumors were flying left and right about his relationship with the now deceased captain: if it was abusive, if McCoy drove him to suicide, if he was poisoned. Many weren't even quiet about it. However, Scotty knew that McCoy was torn up about it. The engineer had become something like the doctor's confidant. Every dirty little secret he had poured out of his mouth and washed over Scotty like a tidal wave. Every other night, he would cry, sobbing heavily and revealing that he blamed himself for the whole torrid, awful affair. Scotty tried to tell him it wasn't his fault, that Jim hadn't done it to kill himself, that-

"But he did, Scotty!" Bones cried, "He went and drank hisself to death! All because I kicked him out! I told him I didn't love him! He couldn't handle it, and he drank hisself to death because of it! Because of _me_, Scotty! It's all my fault…"

McCoy fell silent, looked as if he had achieved an epiphany. One more tear slipped down his cheek. Scotty instinctively embraced the doctor; he didn't move. The engineer awkwardly released him and left, saying he'd come back to check on him when he got a break in his shift.

"Perhaps ye ought ta get some sleep, doctor," he said, "Ye look beat."

McCoy still didn't move. A strange feeling of dread cropped up in his stomach, crept up his spine, as he left the room, but he swallowed it down and headed to the engine room for his shift. The feeling of dread remained with him for the four hours he was down there. He finally got an opportunity to leave only to find that McCoy had locked his door. Slightly panicked by this, he got on the comm to Spock who, as acting captain, had the only override code to McCoy's quarters.

"Oh, my God," Scotty breathed.

_She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger_

_And finally drank away his memory_

_Life is short but this time it was bigger_

_Than the strength she had to get up off her knees_

_We found her with her face down in the pillow_

_Clinging to his picture for dear life_

_We laid her next to him beneath the willow_

_While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby_

Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy was face down in his pillow. Two empty whiskey bottles were beside the bed: one neatly sitting up, the other laying on its side. Scotty could feel the tears sliding down his face. In McCoy's hand, right next to his face, he held an old-fashioned photograph of Jim and himself from what seemed like an eternity ago. They were smiling and happy.

"Damn it," Scotty said, "He did it. I cannae believe it, but he did it."

"He drank himself to… to death," Spock whispered, "just as Jim did."

"I shouldn't 'a left 'im alone, Mr. Spock. It's my-"

"Please do not blame yourself, Mr. Scott. We have had quite enough of that, I think."

Scotty tore his eyes away from the body of his friend and looked at Spock. The Vulcan suddenly seemed older, weary, as though the weight of the world rested on him. He looked back at McCoy's body. The man looked peaceful. At last, he looked perfectly at peace.

It was a touching funeral service. Turns out that while they had been together, they had reserved their funeral plots beside one another, so he was placed beside Kirk beneath the willow. McCoy's mother and daughter were there. The little girl (about eight or nine) was a spitting image of her father, all dark curls surrounding a roundish face but with blue eyes rather than brown. She was the most stoic person there, her face almost blank. Halfway through the service, the weather became the same sobering drizzle of Kirk's funeral. It was vaguely comforting.

He lingered for a few moments after everyone left, just looking at the headstones. The one on the left read, "James Tiberius Kirk, Captain, Starfleet, USS Enterprise," while the stone on the right stated, "Dr. Leonard Horatio McCoy, Commander and Chief Medical Officer, Starfleet, USS Enterprise."

Finally, they were together and at peace. Scotty allowed a small smile to creep onto his face at that thought as he left.

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_**Yes.. I am a terrible person.. I am well aware of this fact. Thank you all for reading and sticking with it! And for the record, I have no idea how much whiskey it takes to kill a person, so I just went with my feelings on that one. For any interested parties, I am currently writing a new Star Trek story now, another multi chapter fic. Look for it in the new year! Reviews are still appreciated!**_


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